1.
"Laughter
is
the
sun
that
drives
winter
from
the
human
face. "
-
Victor
Hugo
【#LaughterIsSun】

2.
"If
at
first
you
don't
succeed,
then
skydiving
definitely
isn't
for
you. "
-
Steven
Wright
【#SkydivingFail】

3.
"I
have
six
locks
on
my
door
all
in
a
row.
When
I
go
out,
I
lock
every
other
one.
I
figure
no
matter
how
long
somebody
stands
there
picking
the
locks,
they
are
always
locking
three. "
-
Elayne
Boosler
【#LockingDoors】

4.
"I'm
not
afraid
of
death;
I
just
don't
want
to
be
there
when
it
happens. "
-
Woody
Allen
【#NotAfraidOfDeath】

5.
"Why
do
they
call
it
rush
hour
when
nothing
moves?"
-
Robin
Williams
【#RushHourFrustrations】

6.
"I'm
not
a
vegetarian
because
I
love
animals.
I'm
a
vegetarian
because
I
hate
plants. "
-
A.
Whitney
Brown
【#VegetarianHumor】

7.
"People
say
nothing
is
impossible,
but
I
do
nothing
every
day. "
-
A.
A.
Milne
【#NothingIsImpossible】

8.
"I
think
the
worst
time
to
have
a
heart
attack
is
during
a
game
of
charades. "
-
Demetri
Martin
【#HeartAttackCharades】

9.
"A
day
without
sunshine
is
like,
you
know,
night. "
-
Steve
Martin
【#NoSunshine】

10.
"I
love
being
married.
It's
so
great
to
find
that
one
special
person
you
want
to
annoy
for
the
rest
of
your
life. "
-
Rita
Rudner
【#MarriageHumor】

11.
"I'm
not
against
half-naked
girls
-
not
as
often
as
I'd
like
to
be. "
-
Benny
Hill
【#BennyHillHumor】

1
2.
"I'm
such
a
good
lover
because
I
practice
a
lot
on
my
own. "
-
Woody
Allen
【#GoodLover】

1
3.
"Fame
is
a
vapor,
popularity
an
accident,
riches
take
wings,
only
character
endures. "
-
Horace
Greeley
【#CharacterEndures】

1
4.
"My
fake
plants
died
because
I
did
not
pretend
to
water
them. "
-
Mitch
Hedberg
【#FakePlants】

1
5.
"I
don't
want
to
belong
to
any
club
that
will
accept
me
as
a
member. "
-
Groucho
Marx
【#Belonging】

1
6.
"I've
always
wanted
to
go
to
Switzerland
to
see
what
the
army
does
with
those
wee
red
knives. "
-
Billy
Connolly
【#SwitzerlandArmy】

1
7.
"I
am
extraordinarily
patient
provided
I
get
my
own
way
in
the
end. "
-
Margaret
Thatcher
【#PatientNotReally】

1
8.
"My
doctor
told
me
to
stop
having
intimate
dinners
for
four
unless
there
are
three
other
people
with
me. "
-
Orson
Welles
【#IntimateDinners】

1
9.
"I
told
my
wife
that
a
husband
is
like
a
fine
wine;
he
gets
better
with
age.
The
next
day,
she
locked
me
in
the
cellar. "
-
Unknown
【#HusbandWine】

20.
"Behind
every
great
man
is
a
woman
rolling
her
eyes. "
-
Jim
Carrey
【#GreatManWoman】